the answer:
It's a different life! As everyone informed me of before she was born. But it's good. I love my daughter more and more each day. She is so beautiful and precious and just melts my heart. But how do I like being a mom? well, it's different. I would definitely not trade this time for anything and don't regret for a second the decision to have a child, but I do miss some things about not having children.
My relationship with my husband has changed. Our time together is different, and I miss the way it was - though I love seeing him with AJ. He loves making her smile and misses her when he's at work. He's really a good dad.
2 month picture
If getting married was a lesson in selflessness, having a child is a 3 hour exam. It's all about baby, now! isn't that right? I can't complain, though. Akeyla is very great about letting me get in my daily morning shower and most of the time lets me sleep through the night. But yeah, everything I do, and rightly so, is done on her terms. But I'm happy to have it that way. I'm surprised that I don't mind eating later than everyone else because she needs to eat, for example. I guess my priorities have changed.
I'm grateful for a hiatus from my normal work life. I enjoy the privilege of staying at home with my daughter for a whole year, with pay. If I were living in Indiana as my friend was when she had her second child, I'd be going back to work in 2 weeks - with my baby just 12 weeks old. Imagine! How hard that must have been. I feel so fortunate living in this country right now!
Do I love being a mom? I guess I'm loving it more and more as I get used to this being the new norm. Because I don't like comparing different stages of my life to determine which is the best, I won't say that being a mom is "the best". Maybe I will one day, I'm not sure. But I can say that being a mom is one of the most unique experiences of my life - truly, it is something that no one could prepare me for (as hard as they tried) and that no matter how prepared I felt (which I really did), I wasn't prepared at all. :)
bath time! (which she loves)
A few things I can say to this most frequently asked question: I treasure this time. I treasure and love Akeyla beyond measure. Akeyla is a precious gift from the Giver, made as a masterpiece in His image. and she is beautiful.
11 comments:
I'd have to say that what you've said rings so true for me too. It's a hard job with lots of rewards, but that doesn't mean there aren't costs too.
i hear ya. wouldn't trade it for the world but there are it's tough moments. i remember around week three, when i looked over to my husband, realized that i hadn't truly connected to him since before she was born and said, "i miss you!" since then, we've really tried to make it a priority to go on dates, or just have together time when she's sleeping.
she is a beauty! Love those cheeks :)
I can totally relate to everything you said today, being a mom (especially a new mom) is such an emotional roller coaster. I'm glad you are enjoying it, though, and yes we are definitely blessed to have a full year off for mat leave!
Very well said Carmen. Being a mother has pushed me to stretch beyond what I thought I was capable of. It can be a painful experience, but the rewards of these little wonders in our care has this amazing magic to it as well.
I am not a mother but I do live in the US right now and if your friend got off 12 weeks, she is lucky because most of them get 6 weeks off without pay. You do not even begin to realize how amazing the Canadian system is. And I truly never thought I would say that.
She is beautiful and I cannot even imagine how difficult it is to have such a small one who needs so much but gives back just as much.
Love ya,
Revita
Thanks for sharing this Carmen, it's so true. I think your perspective on motherhood is more accurate of what it's really like than all the mushy gushy stuff we're made to believe it is. I love your perspective, and PZ and I love you and your man and your beautiful little girl.
First of all, Akeyla is so beautiful! Seeing how much she has changed makes me sad all over again for not having had the chance to meet her yet.
Second, thank you for your honesty in this post. For giving us a more clear picture on how being a mother is for you.
Third, YOU are beautiful. I love the first photo of you :)
Carmen what wonderful pictures of you and Akelya. She is a beautiful baby and you are a fabulous mother. I appreciate that you share your thoughts and feelings so openly. Motherhood is not easy but very rewarding and every day is new. Welcome to motherhood and enjoy the ride. It is frequently bumpy but so much fun. Hugs Mum
Motherhood is not for wimps- that's what I have to say! You look so good in that first picture with your sweet baby and I love your final thoughts to your FAQ. Wow... so true!
As you know, I have the opportunity to talk with many new moms, and your thoughts sound very familiar. Although we teach our children many things, I often think that our children teach us more than we teach them. They teach us about priorities, about how much we are capable of and how much we are NOT capable of, about a new kind of love that is unexplainable until it is experienced, about becoming flexible, about seeing the world through their eyes, and so many other things. It is truly a humbling experience, and each child makes us more humble. And it seems that our children can thrive, even with imperfect parents.
I look forward to seeing your beautiful Akeyla grow and to see her own unique, and God given, personality emerge.
Take care of yourself and each other,
Mamazee
I thoroughly enjoyed your honesty and transparency in this post. You have a beautiful daughter! And she has beautiful parents!
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