What Dreams are Made Of

Singing has always been a huge part of my life.  I'm told that I have been singing pretty much ever since I could talk.  I would sing on the toilet, in the bathtub, at the dinner table (though I was always told to stop), while I was walking or playing or falling asleep.  As I grew up, I always sang in church: kids choirs, worship teams, solos, duets, you name it.  High school and college brought choirs, more worship teams, weddings and funerals.  I have always loved singing.

Singing in a good choir was something that always brought particular joy as it is so amazing to me how a group of people, who have the same goal, can create a beautiful, harmonious piece of music together.  This, to me, is the ultimate portrayal of unity, teamwork and community.

This picture of oneness coupled with often singing deeply Spiritual and emotional songs gave me the feeling of flying.  Being able to spread my wings and soar.  I love to sing.  I love to make harmonies.  It takes me to a different level of joy and fulfillment.  I love to work on a difficult piece to make sure that it will be perfectly in tune and to make sure that the other voices won't be held back by my lack of ability.

Over the years of living in various small towns, I have not had the same opportunities to sing in choirs.  I so miss it. Sometimes I ache to sing with other strong vocalists, even in a church setting.

This longing to be able to harmonize with others was particularly intense when we lived in 100 Mile. I just didn't have the connections to make it happen.

One afternoon, I remember so clearly, I was driving to my parents after work to pick up Akeyla.  She was probably between 18 months and 2 years old or so.  As I was driving, I was listening to some worship music and belting it out along with the cd.  This longing to soar through song came down so deeply on me that I started to get emotional and cry out to God to bring me someone to sing with - to harmonize with.  A person, small group, or a choir.  I didn't know how it could possibly happen, but I just called out to my Lord.

That night, I was going through Akeyla's nightly routine, which always included a snuggle on the rocking chair in her room while I sang Jesus Loves Me to her.  For the first time, ever, she sang along with me.  In her little baby words, with her little baby melody, she sang along. From start to finish.

"I hear you." I could sense the Lord sharing with me. "I know your longing and I hear your cry."

I sat quietly weeping. What a tender Saviour we serve.  That he should hear me and respond so perfectly.

Ever since I have had children, I have dreamed that they might want to sing with me throughout their childhood and beyond.  I realize that they might not want to, or they might not turn out to be great singers, but I still dream.

That night that Akeyla sang with me, my dream sparked.

And she hasn't stopped singing since.  She sings a LOT.  Everything from Dora songs, to Sunday School songs, to Abba, Raffi, church hymns and anything else that catches her fancy.  She sometimes makes up her own songs, too.

Over the last few months, she has started to sing with me in church, up on stage, on the Sundays that I lead worship.  It warms my heart.  Fills my heart.  Makes me feel like the best, most luckiest mom in the world.  And I'm SO thankful that our church family is so open to receiving Akeyla in this way. She is so encouraged to sing with me.

Leading up to this last Sunday's worship set, I thought I might tailor a song to Akeyla, which would in turn be tailoring a song for all the children in church - young and old.  I added Jesus Loves Me to the main worship set.  Akeyla even chose to sing into a microphone for the first time last Sunday.  Usually she declines the offer.

I think everybody was singing when Jesus Loves Me came up.

I had a hard time holding it together when we sang that song.  First of all, the truth of the promise of Jesus' great love for us.  Secondly, this love felt particularly impactful during this season while celebrating Jesus as a baby Himself.  And finally, because my baby, now a preschooler was singing this song on stage.  With me.

I got to fly again on Sunday morning.