Mad Eyeballs

The other day, I was bathing Akeyla and she disobeyed me several times while in the bath, so I finally instructed her to come out of the bath. Right now. As I was drying her off, she said to me, "Don't use your mad eyeballs." I said, "What? Mad eyeballs? Do you mean when I do this?" And I furrowed my brow:

She said, "ya!" So I smiled and straightened out my brow.

It reminded me of a few things:
Of how I am starting to get wrinkles right there between my eyebrows.
Of how one of my coworker friends in 100 Mile used to remind me to relax my brow.
Of how people have often misread my expression to be angry when I am not angry in the least!

Without realizing it, my brow does this so often. When I am looking at the computer, reading, concentrating on something (which was the case when I was drying off Akeyla. I was annoyed, but not really angry at her.), thinking, squinting to see something, and probably other times that I don't even realize! So in other words, a LOT.

I think I've been doing this most of my life and I don't necessarily think that it is all that uncommon. Unfortunately in my case, it often means that my face puts off an expression that I do not intend or actually feel. People have often asked me if I am upset, or angry. And I respond in surprise because I am not in the least bit angry! I now know that in these circumstances, my brow is furrowed!

And now I have a new name for it: mad eyeballs.

Because I spent so much time in front of the computer at work in 100 Mile, my mad eyeballs were often in use. So like I said before, my one coworker would sometimes remind me to relax. And I really started to become more conscious of it particularly because people were in and out of my office so much, I didn't want them to think that I was mad all the time!  Now that I've been out of that environment for so long, I have forgotten about it.

I guess Akeyla is pretty familiar with my mad eyeballs!  haha!

And I feel compelled to tell people that if it looks like I am angry, there is a good chance that I am not. If I am angry or grumpy, there will be many other clues to confirm that!!

So please excuse my mad eyeballs if you see them. I will again start to try to be more conscious of it and wear my happy eyeballs!